Yet, some of us forget to include ourselves in the Kindness Chain. On some often unconscious, level, we may believe that taking time for ourselves is a selfish act. We doubt that we are deserving of personal time when there is so much (else) to do. And so, we wait for Me Time. We say: when I retire, when I change jobs or when I am on holiday, I will have more time for myself. When my children leave home, when my relationship circumstances are different, or when I move from the city, I will have more time. We say maybe next week, next month or even next year. We forget or perhaps have never known that personal quality time is a Sacred Space where we revive our spirit, re-create our focus, and experience a general sense of well being. A space of recovery is to be cherished now. Not only later.

If we repeatedly decide to put our needs last on the list, it may be a good time for us to evaluate the purpose served by this choice. In the short run, it may free up some time for other things perceived as being more important, but in the long run, continually putting our needs on the back burner will likely affect our health, our sense of purpose, our mental disposition and our happiness quotient. Waiting for Me Time can trigger anger, frustration, and sadness. We cannot create more personal time by simply talking about it; we need to approach Me Time in a positive way. We need to learn that kindness to self is not a selfish choice.

IN-SIGHT: Do I sometimes believe that other people’s personal or work-related needs are more important than my own? If so, why are they more important? Who is ranking the importance? Should I update my definition of what is important?

Self-awareness and kindness towards self are paths that lead us back to our core being. The process of Kindness to Self begins with simple questions: Who am I? What do I like, want or need? Are my basic and essential needs being met in ways that provide a sense of true balance in my life? Do I tell others what I need and how I feel? How are my needs changing? What do I deserve? Answers come to us when we are ready to listen and are willing to do the inner work with compassion and patience. By neglecting to hear our own voice over a lifetime, we may have come to feel invisible in our own life. We no longer see what needs to be seen. And we stumble to avoid our own shadow…

IN-SIGHT: I give myself permission to recognize and release the “judgemental part of me” that makes me feel guilty for taking the time to care for my personal needs. I will not wait for “more me time” in the future. I choose to be kind to myself now. Kindness to self is not self-indulgent; it is self-affirming.